Understanding ADHD in Women
When most people think of ADHD, they picture a hyperactive young boy bouncing off the walls, with me it’s a child running around a room making a zoom noise for some reason! But that was never me, so when I was diagnosed, to say it surprised me is putting it mildly . If anything, I am the opposite of that image, and as a society, what we don’t picture is a woman — calm on the outside, but overwhelmed inside, constantly battling to be organised, full of self-doubt, and mentally exhausted.
But ADHD in women exists even if its underdiagnosed and often misunderstood.
Why ADHD Often Goes Unnoticed in Women
Historically, ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) was considered a childhood condition — primarily affecting boys. Because girls and women often present differently, they tend to fall under the radar.
Where boys might show hyperactivity and impulsiveness, little girls are more likely to internalise symptoms such as
- Chronic daydreaming
- Being “too chatty” or overly emotional
- Struggling with time management or focus
- Intense perfectionism masking disorganisation
Because they are not obvious ADHD symptoms, many women aren’t diagnosed until adulthood — if at all.
So how does ADHD present in women- I assure you your symptoms are not all in your head!
ADHD in women often looks like:
- Always being “on” mentally — constantly overthinking- this has been such a big part of my whole life.
- Forgetting appointments, misplacing things, missing deadlines- I have lost count of how many appointments I have turned up to on the wrong day, or at the wrong time.
- Difficulty maintaining routines, even with great intentions- this was not a symptom of mine, or maybe I just put in place mechanisms to avoid it before I was diagnosed (known as masking)
- A rollercoaster of emotions: frustration, guilt, burnout- oooh the guilt and the burnout- makes me shiver thinking about it.
- Low self-esteem from years of being told you’re “too much” or “not enough”
Many women with ADHD develop coping strategies to mask their struggles. They become people-pleasers, perfectionists, or chronic overachievers — often at the expense of their own mental health.
Hormones Play a Role, Too
Women’s ADHD symptoms can fluctuate with hormonal changes — during menstruation, pregnancy, postpartum, or menopause. These shifts can worsen executive dysfunction, increase emotional sensitivity, and intensify brain fog. I was not diagnosed until I reached peri menopause, because all the above symptoms intensified a hundred-fold…and the figures back it up. Approximately 43% of women with ADHD are being diagnosed for the first time between the ages of 41 and 50. A significant number of women, around 94%, experience a worsening of ADHD symptoms during perimenopause and menopause, with many reporting that ADHD has the greatest impact on their lives during this period.
The Power of a Diagnosis
For many women, finally getting diagnosed — sometimes in their 30s, 40s, or later — feels like a lightbulb moment. (This blog is not about the absolute nightmare many women have in getting a diagnosis- that can wait for another time), but knowing is not just validation, it’s liberation.
A diagnosis can open the door to better understanding of yourself, accessing treatment (like therapy, coaching, or medication), and letting go of the shame you’ve carried for years.
Let’s shout about this!
The more we talk about ADHD in women, the more we dismantle the myths that keep us suffering in silence. Whether you’ve been diagnosed, suspect you might have ADHD, or are just learning about it, you are not lazy or broken or beyond repair. You’re wired differently, and in my experience, it makes us strong and resilient because we get through life that is extra hard, while being mums, sisters, friends and professional women and still standing every day!
